Page 7 - ADU Voice
P. 7
SPRING 2023 · voice 07
t was 11:59 pm. Eventually, the clock hundreds of buildings, and I felt the same
struck twelve. I sat on my bed, waiting euphoria I did singing along to the lyrics as
I for something to change. I’ve celebrated a little kid. The innocence slowly filled my
quite a few birthdays in my lifetime, yet I body, and I had not one worry. The celestial
somehow thought this birthday would be moon I looked at through the car window
different. The air felt the same, and so did my was the same moon I looked at as a kid. The
feet on the carpet I had laid on for the past body I lived in all this time was still my body,
seventeen years. I fell to the mat and rubbed even after turning eighteen.
my hands through it harshly, hoping to feel
something. I have turned eighteen.
Throughout my life, there has always been
a constant pressure around turning eigh-
teen (and I am pretty sure that pressure was
self-inflicted). Turning eighteen has been a Now as I lay on that
massive deal in the media for as long as I can same carpet, I am
remember. Whether it is social media posts twelve again. I am six,
or coming-of-age films, they portray turning thirteen, and sixteen. I
18 as some life-changing ordeal. As soon as
you turn eighteen, you have to say goodbye am that little girl, and
to your childhood and suddenly become this I am all her beautiful
mature adult with a million responsibilities memories.
to tend to.
In turn, I began thinking that I had to let go
of the little child’s hand as soon as I turned Maybe growing up isn’t about changing.
eighteen. The child that I had spent all six Perhaps it’s about getting the chance to make
thousand two hundred and nine days of new everlasting memories whilst continu-
my life with. The child that had never left ously holding on to the former ones.
my side, lived through all my wounds and
handed me tissues when I cried. I had spent Now as I lay on that same carpet, I am twelve
all my childhood days mourning my past and again. I am six, thirteen, and sixteen. I am
what could have been. All I wanted was to that little girl, and I am all her beautiful
be young forever. I wanted to lay down on memories. I am comprised of all the things
my mother’s lap for an eternity and have she used to love: her favourite colour, her
her engulf me in her arms and never let go. favourite food, her favourite songs, and all
that makes her complete. All the places I’ve
Months had passed since I turned eighteen. discovered, all the laughs I’ve shared, and all
My mother and I decided to drive around the books I’ve read are all a fragment of me.
the city to pass time. So, like always, I took Life does not stop at eighteen, and neither
the aux and clicked the shuffle button on does your childhood disappear. I am young,
my phone. Suddenly, a song I had listened and I am still learning to live. I realized there
to all the time as a child started playing. The was simply nothing to mourn; that child will
brisk wind blew on my face as we passed by always be with me.
